Play Date With Rylie

Recently Jeff and I took my niece on a play date. We went on a picnic and had so much fun playing at the park. Rylie just LOVES Jeff...but then again all 'nieces' love Jeff. He is quite the LITTLE LADIES man.

I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!!! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer Official HD

 


Whoohoo! I am soooooo excited!!! Jeff is too....he just doesn't know it yet. ;-) Every year some good friends and I make t-shirts and go to the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter. YES!!! Of course, as each one has  gotten married we have introduced our spouses to the fun. At first, they were hesitant to make and wear t-shirts, but now that there is more men in the group and we have given them permission to make a joke of the t-shirts, they really enjoy themselves. It doesn't hurt that their participation pleases us, and we all know that a happy wife is a happy home. ;-) YAY FOR HARRY POTTER!!!!

ItS tHe SmAlL tHiNgS

So, lately, with everything going on...and going wrong, I have found myself often depressed and somewhat hopeless. I would find myself fixated on the lack of miracles or disappointed in not receiving immediate answers to prayers or upset at not receiving the answers I wanted. Recently, I have been reminded that answers to prayers come in different ways and sometimes we have to open our minds...and our hearts to see the small things that God does for us to show us His love. I remember a lesson I once gave on receiving personal revelation. I gave an example of eating a  fresh strawberry. The taste is so wonderful and sweet and somewhat subtle. When eaten alone, you get such a wonderful refreshing flavor...but if you took a bite of the strawberry and then took a bite of a jalapeno....the sweet strawberry would get completely lost. It would be as though there were no strawberry at all because the sharp bite of the pepper would over power it. This, I taught, is very much like the Spirit.  Its subtle, and soft, and sweet and can so easily be over powered by negative emotions. It can be chased away by anger, depression, and even thoughts of hopelessness. So, when we are feeling the most alone, the most forsaken, we need to take a step back and open our hearts to the Spirit. It is always whispering to us, comforting us, guiding us, but too often we are so caught up in other extreme, sharp emotions that we never even notice it is there. 

Gratitude I have felt lately:

*I have an amazingly supportive husband who never gets mad at me or tires of my emotional melt-downs.

*I have wonderful parents that would do anything for me and have been super helpful fixing up the yard and the house when I have been sick. 

*I have a job that has great insurance and amazingly supportive co-workers.

*I have the strength to give myself Intramuscular Shots.

*I have been blessed to not have any extreme reactions from my MS maintenance medication

*We have been blessed to qualify for co-pay assistance through the Avonex company. (This means we don't have to find a way to come up with my portion, $864.00 a month, of the medication cost) THIS IS A BIGGIE!!!!

Even when we are in the middle of a massive storm we can find the calmness in the Savior. If we can stop long enough to take a breath, we will be able to see the blessings and love surrounding us.

Steroid Treatment

On the 2nd of June I went into to the Neuro clinic and had a Lumbar Puncture (spinal tap) done. The doctor needed to test my spinal fluid to see if I had the markers for MS. There is no one test that can actually diagnose this disease. They have to do several different tests and see if the puzzle pieces fit together. In my case, they did. Two days after my, not so pleasant, Lumbar Puncture, Dr. Wilder called to inform me that he felt very confident diagnosing me officially with MS. He then informed me that he had scheduled a three day burst of steroids. I would be getting 1gram of Methyl Prednisone every day for three days....basically a butt load of steroids over a 3 day period. This is suppose to help re-boot my system and help diminish what symptoms I have so that I can start the official MS treatment and have it be as effective as possible. 

 

Day one: My first day in the infusion center they let a medical assistant attempt my IV. I have rather large veins in my hands and have never had a problem before....She attempted the largest veins in both hands...and failed. She claimed that my veins were spasming....VEINS DON'T SPASM, ARTERIES DO! Any who, after her two failed attempts the actual nurse gets an IV in me and uses a nice small needle. 

They say that the steroids can make you feel great and give you a ton of energy.... I was exhausted! The only difference I noticed during and immediately after the infusion was this lovely metallic taste in my mouth. Like I had been licking batteries. I went home and took a nap. It was nice, but I had a hard time waking up. Once I did wake up, however, I had this massive burst of energy. I helped plant some trees in the yard and I planted flowers and....I ate everything in sight. Yes that is another side effect...a ferocious appetite. I was starving! I consumed over 5000 calories, I am pretty confident in saying it was a new record. I gained 2 pounds that night.

Day two: I woke up super depressed. I cried most of the morning. It took the nurse another 2 sticks to get my IV in...It didn't help that she attempted to start an IV below the blown portion of one of the veins from the day before. Hmph! After the second infusion I felt nauseous and even more hopeless. I cried on the way home. I felt a bit frustrated because my vision didn't seem to be getting better fast enough and I have been gaining weight like crazy through this whole mess. I was determined to not over-eat like I had the day before. I drank 4 liters of water to try and curb my appetite. I only ate 1400 calories and it was torture! No weight gain!

Day three: Went down to the infusion center right after work. The new nurse blew another vein. Booo! It was ok though because I am DONE!!!!  After this infusion my vision started normalizing. I can look around me and my eyes focus like they are suppose to!!!! YEAHOOOO!!!! Also, I was really careful about drinking lots of water and watching my calories and I LOST 2.4 lbs. WOOT WOOT! I am sure that half of it is water weight but at least its something. :-)

All in all, I have 4 less veins and a ravenous appetite, but my symptoms are almost better!!!

Best Day EVER!

So, I wanted to post some pictures from the Wedding Day. I waited forever to get them back and was so excited to go through them. Only problem is, there are just too many great pictures to stick on here.

Diagnosed

On May 12, 2010 I went to the doctor for extreme vertigo and blurred/double vision. The doctor decided that the vertigo was being caused by an inner ear infection. In an inner ear infection a virus can cause a formation of calcium crystals that can float around in the natural fluids of the inner ear canals. The crystals then can 'bump' into the fine nerve fibers of the inner ear throwing off your equilibrium and creating the sensation of spinning. The doctor, however, was not sure about what was causing my sudden change in vision. I had just had an eye exam in February and my vision was 20/20 and my eyes were in good health. The Dr. sent me to get an MRI. This is basically a machine that takes a bunch of pictures of a particular body part in slices. This allows for the Dr. to see a particular organ, like my brain, in layers and see if anything is unusual or hiding. My brain showed 'progression of demyelination of the nerves'. Basically, every nerve has this protective protein coating called myeline. It helps carry messages from the brain to a particular part of the body or particular function. When it has demyelination, the smooth protein cover is damaged and can cause delayed response in actions or loss of function. I looked up demyelination immediately and my heart sunk. The number one cause is Multiple Sclerosis. I tried to remain hopeful that it was something else entirely. The Dr. referred me to a Neurologist. I went in the morning of Tuesday May 18, 2010. After an exam and a look at my MRI the Neurologist informed me I have Multiple Sclerosis. I wasn't shocked at all. I wasn't upset. I was in denial. I told everyone I was fine. I was resolute about just accepting my fate since there is no cure. Once my inner ear infection started to clear up and I could really focus on what just happened, it began to sink in. The more literature I read the more depressed I became. I was angry. I felt so angry at God for throwing another curve ball at me. I felt defeated. How am I suppose to be a full time worker, a wife, a care giver, and an individual with such an unpredictable and debilitating disease? I find that I have now moved on from the anger stage of grief but I find myself moving between the other stages of grief. I have not started treatment yet and the Neurologist wants to run more tests to determine the extent or aggressiveness of my disease. I have a small amount of hope in me that we will be able to slow the progression and get me back to my life.

Married!

On April 22, 2o1o we became Mr. and Mrs. Jeff Brown! We are still waiting for our wedding pictures to be sent to us but here is a teaser.